Here it is – duh duh duh – my German phrasebook. I bought it at the Cut Price Bookstore in Helmsley. http://www.cutpricebookstore.co.uk/helmsleyDefinitely one of my favourite places to go when I’m in town visiting my grandparents, and I picked up the phrasebook for only £1.99. It’s a nifty little thing, very comprehensive for its size. I didn’t even know the AA did phrasebooks, but I suppose it makes sense.

The phonetic help underneath the actual German makes me sound decent enough, although I have no idea if I’d pass in conversation. I need to test them out on my friend when I arrive, who I’m sure will be polite and smile. And then I will try it on a real German who will probably stare at me blankly.

I’m hoping to be able to use it for the times I’m not with S, the friend I’ll be staying with. Maybe when I’ve moved to a café to work or I’m doing the tourist tour, which I won’t drag her round if she doesn’t want to because I’m sure she’s done it a hundred times or more with visiting friends and family. I’ve already started going around the house pointing at bits of furniture and telling my parents/sisters/the dog what it is in German.

The phrasebook is just good fun to read as well as being useful. But there are a few phrases I hope never to have to use. Either because they sound downright worrying: ‘I don’t want this tooth pulled’ … and ‘There’s someone in the car/train still’ (presumably to be screamed, pointing a finger, at a gutted train/car after a fireball accident). Then there’s just the plain weird. ‘There’s no paper in the toilet.’ …and… ‘We have to be careful about AIDS’. All valid sentences I know, just not something you’d expect to find in a phrasebook written by respectable AA people. But it’s nice to know the AA think of all activities people get up to on their holidays.

And then there’s one I hope never to have to hear…in any language: ‘You’ve got a vaginal infection’.